Vulnerability is a super power

that I'm learning to embrace

Photo by Gabriela Braga on Unsplash

Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart is a metaphor shared and discussed by Brené Brown, Tara Brach and Elizabeth Lesser, but was orginated by Zen Buddhist Roshi Joan Halifax. She describes it as follows:

“All too often our so-called strength comes from fear, not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front shielding a weak spine. In other words, we walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence. If we strengthen our backs, metaphorically speaking, and develop a spine that’s flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that’s soft and open, representing choiceless compassion. The place in your body where these two meet—strong back and soft front—is the brave, tender ground in which to root our caring deeply.”

Vulnerability has often meant weak, fearful and a place we don’t want to go. The research that Brené Brown has discovered holds a different narrative. According to Brené, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, joy, trust, intimacy, and courage—everything that brings meaning to our life.” 

One way that I’m using vulnerability as a super power is seeking out and meeting new people. I open my heart and share pieces of myself and my life experiences. I hope that they might resonate with my readers or listeners.

I crave deep connection, to have rich and juicy conversations. I can engage in small talk, but it leaves me feeling drained. As I age, I actively seek out communities and people that are willing to go there with me. I’ve found that both parties have to be willing to show up and put some skin in the game. There needs to be a sense sharing otherwise it can leave me feeling uncomfortable and hollow.

People close to me have accused me of wearing rose colored glasses. As an optimist, I see the best in people and I’m quick to defend others. I expect my words or actions to be received warmly and with an open attitude. When I remove my glasses, a grittier image greets me.

I see the polarization, negativity and fear that permeates society today, and it is toxic. Some of the judgmental and opinionated people just want to complain and argue. I don’t want to participate in that arena. I am now a bit wary about where I show up and how I share.

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I do believe that revealing myself to others is a gift and an invitation. An opportunity to share and get to know each other better. I also think that it allows me not only to be seen, but to see others. To step into their shoes, walk a step in their lives and understand more about them. To imagine their circumstances from their point of view. To begin to tap into the difficulty, pain and suffering along with the joy, happiness and success.

I want to see people. To see beyond the image or the fancy clothes and cars. I want to have a conversation and listen, really listen to what they have to say. To hold space for their feelings and worries.

I believe that vulnerability is the key. I’ve begun to show up in new and creative ways beyond my comfort zone. Despite disliking the TikTok approach of showing up, I decided to do it my way. I’ve begun posting live on Instagram discussing the link between the cycles of the moon, tarot, yoga and journaling. It is loosely planned, usually outside, and after I’ve been lifted up by my surroundings. It isn’t styled or edited. Most of the times, I’m not showered and definitely am without makeup.

I am more confident and comfortable speaking into the camera and having my face (let alone my body) be streamed to the world. I’m not allowing criticism or comparison to enter my mind or else it will derail me.

I focus on what I am creating. I focus on the what, why, for whom, and how. I picture sharing and chatting with my friends instead of the many strangers that might be viewing me for the first time. I am showing up as I am. Grey haired, crooked teeth, wobbly in my yoga poses and fumbling my words.

I am human. I am flawed. I am real. I am authentic.

That’s the way I want to show up - for you and for me! 

Vulnerability doesn’t have to be scary. It can be fun and playful.

Who knows where it can lead?

I am finally creating my first offering for my business. It has been the most vulnerable thing I have done yet. It is scarier than hiking, camping or traveling to an unknown city. What has helped me move out of my comfort zone and through fear is to see the service I can provide to others.

Creating a Sacred Space will be a mini course to guide and offer suggestions to support the creation of a space, just for you. Within this space, you can design a practice to connect to yourself that leaves you feeling grounded and intentional.

If you are interested, you can follow the link to my website to find out when it’s ready.

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to jump in and say hello!